If I Ever Fall in Love

It’s beautiful. But it’s not for me.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with someone who cares less about my favourite colour than about my favourite Scripture.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with someone who cares less about the coffee going into my body than the ideas going into my soul.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with someone to whom my tears have just as much value as my laughter; with someone who understands that crying comes from growing pains; with someone who shall coax the mirth from me by their sheer existence, without needing to do anything but be.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with someone who loves me from one heartbeat to the next even when they are angry or sad or a little broken themselves.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with someone who will keep their distance. I think I shall fall in love with someone who will regard me as holy, who will know that I belong to a powerful, all-seeing God Who makes me untouchable to all but my own flesh or the flesh to which I cleave. I think I shall fall in love with someone who doesn’t need to show everyone that I belong to him because it’s not about “everyone”. I think I shall fall in love with someone who feels no need to show me off to the world, but who will guide me, chide me and shine beside me when God’s light reaches through both of us and He shows Himself off to the lost through us.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with someone who knows how terrifying romantic love is and how fragile, yet powerful, is the human heart. And who respects that.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with somebody I can respect as both lover and leader in my house. I think I shall fall in love with someone who will not be intimidated by me or afraid to offend me or terrified to lose me. I think I shall fall in love with someone who will defend my heart from its greatest threat: himself. I think I shall fall in love with someone who feels no need to protect me from his own challengers or mine, but only from those who can truly harm me. And when it comes to that, who will lay his life down for me as readily as I will for him.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with someone who sees all my blemishes and all my scars and loves the person I was created to be enough to point out the flaws and to help me overcome them by the sheer pulsing power of his love and his prayers. I think I shall fall in love with someone who loves me so much that he refuses to accept my imperfections but supports me as I strive to become holy and spotless not for him but for my God. I think I shall fall in love with someone who will never be put off by my flaws, who will never turn away when I make mistakes even when they cut him deep. I think I shall fall in love with someone in whom my flaws produce not revulsion but determination: determination to help me be cleansed and healed.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with a man that doesn’t need me. I think I shall fall in love with someone who can stand alone, but chooses not to. I think I shall fall in love with a man who chooses to share his universe with me and who chooses to become one with me, not a man who clutches at me like one drowning and drags me under with him. I think I shall fall in love with a man who I know could walk away, but who I also know, undoubtedly and unshakeably and without the faintest glimmer of fear, will never do so.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with someone who loves me meaningfully; not for the size of my breeches but for what’s in my soul – God. I think I shall fall in love not with the person who rushes to my side when I fall off my horse, but someone who gives the medics space to work and goes to catch the horse because he knows that that horse is a chunk of my heart. I think I shall fall in love with someone who is not kind to me because he wants something from me but because he is kind to everyone. I think I shall fall in love with someone who seeks my friendship first. I think I shall fall in love with someone whose first purpose is to love me, rather than to try through childish derring-do and simpering adulation to draw my attention. I think I shall fall in love with someone who knows and accepts that I love everybody, and that everybody deserves to be loved.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with someone who loves God far more than he will ever love me. I think I shall fall in love with someone to whom I will always be the second priority. I think I shall fall in love with someone who loves God more than anything and me more than life. I think I shall do this because loving God first and others second is the only way that that love can be made perfect. I think I shall fall in love not with a person, but with Jesus shining so brightly through that person that I cannot resist Him nor his wondrous creation.

If I ever fall in love, I think I shall fall in love with someone who loves me as close as is humanly possible to the way Christ loves His bride.

I think so, because this is the most perfect way I know to love someone. And this is the way that I will love him to the far end of forever.

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