Proverbs 31 paints a picture of the perfect woman and she’s everything a guy could want – wise, hardworking, caring, precious and courageous. So are many of our women of God today, yet so many of us are still single. But why?
It’s because, like Jesus, the world doesn’t always quite get us. So here are some ways in which a Godly woman is a much harder catch than anyone else. I’m sure a Godly man is just as difficult – I only write about one side of the story because it’s the only side that I have read!
- She has very high standards. It might not always look it, since we are commanded to love everyone and thus a real woman of God will treat everyone with kindness and love. But while we’re called to love without conditions, we consider it our duty to choose a potential spouse with great care. And the example we have of an ideal man is Jesus Himself, so while we know that any relationship is a commitment to a human as imperfect as we are, we won’t settle for an ungodly man.
- She doesn’t do casual. Dating is never just for fun, no matter how fun it might be, to a Godly woman. She’s not out to have a good time – she’s shopping for a husband. She will not even consider going out with a man that is not definite husband material, and she is ultimately looking for a lifelong commitment. Nothing less will do.
- She doesn’t need a relationship. If a woman truly knows Jesus, then she also knows that Jesus is all she needs. There is nothing sinful in wanting to find a guy and get married, but to her it’s a calling, not a necessity. She is ready to go through life without ever having a romantic relationship, because she has a relationship with Jesus, which is all that she truly needs. A man who wants to be in a relationship with a Godly woman needs to know that while he will be loved and desired, he will not be needed. Life might be hard without him, but for a Godly woman, it can still be worthwhile and fulfilling. That’s not to say she doesn’t appreciate a man’s kindness, service, or protection – it’s just that she can do just fine without him. If he understands this dynamic of their relationship, it can give their love a whole new meaning. She doesn’t stay with him because she needs him, she stays with him because she chooses to.
- She has the power of Christ in her. Your Godly woman does not want the same level of pampering and protection (especially not possessiveness) that some normal girls like. She’s surrounded by angels, she can do all things through Christ, and she knows it. While she still appreciates a man who makes her feel safe, she’s not a damsel in distress that needs a knight in shining armour. She’s a warrior maiden who wants a valiant and loyal comrade to watch her back in the heat of battle.
- She doesn’t need to be told she’s beautiful. Her physical appearance is low down on her priority list. She knows that her body is something God made by Hand, and she knows He makes no mistakes. He told her she’s beautiful, and she believes Him. Out of a man’s mouth, compliments on her appearance can sound presumptious at best and lewd at worst. Even worse is the idea that a man is persuing her based on her appearance. That tells her a lot about his judgment, standards and priorities, and she isn’t interested in someone who wastes her time with flattery. If a man was to compliment her, encouragement about her soul – her walk with Jesus – is greatly appreciated. She seeks exhortation, not flattery.
- Her priorities and actions only make sense to someone who knows what’s driving her. She doesn’t want the things that worldly women want – she wants God. She is willing to suffer for Him, and she is willing to lay down everything for Him. A man that doesn’t know this may try to “save” her from the hardship and tribulation she’s in, but she understands that it’s God’s will for her to go through it, and she is completely willing to weather the storm with Him. She’s got Him – she doesn’t need a man to rescue her. She just wants her man to weather the storm beside her.
- A man will never be her first priority. And she doesn’t want to be his, either. She will never love or value him as much as she loves God. And she doesn’t want him to put her first in everything, either. She would like to be his second priority after God, but she most definitely does not want to be his first. Being his first priority would mean that she is responsible for almost all of his happiness, and she knows she’s flawed. She can never give him everything he needs – only God has that power.
So how is one to go about wooing such a difficult and elusive creature? It is very simple and very complicated all in one breath.
How to woo a woman of God? Be a man of God.